we broke up and he got another girl pregnant we broke up and he got another girl pregnant

Hes probably the worlds most prolific internet commenter. Cowards who abandon responsibility when they dont want to deal with it dont make good partners. But sometimes, we don't even realize just how painful they are until after they've happened, and the person you love . SweetsAndBeats hamster van beethoven Both sexes suffer from inequalities in the reproductive process due to biology. Her body, her choice, he had NOTHING to do with it. Oh, and I dont hate women who get child support. April 10, 2012, 7:42 pm. On a side note: If the adoption had not occured and she went after him for support, he could contest it by stating that it would be detrimental to the child as he has no fatherly relationship with the child and introducing such a relationship so many years later would be harmful. Well be together forever no matter what. is thrown around just to get in some dumb girls pants just as often as I wont get pregnant. is thrown around to trap ignorant dumbasses. . Or could CG be right, and this is all a hoax? Likewise, you could find a wealth of men who paid for children who werent theirs. April 10, 2012, 7:15 pm. So while support is gender-blind, the points that get you to the question of support arent, which kind of means support isnt either. He said hes willing to give that support, he just wont be there to actually raise his future child. Or until we decide to start a family., By that logic, virtually every dude on the planet is an idiot. And MOA. You sound like one of those pro-lifers who are always compelling women to do things against their will. Have an abortion or Ill be furious = Have fries with that or Ill be furious > Psycho. Taking no personality responsibility whatsoever and then whining about the consequences? I cant even imagine how a grown man can be deceived into impregnating someone. Wow, youre a real piece of work, arent you. Run as if your life depends on it because it does. She goes to a restaurant and orders a meal that doesnt explicitly say that it has peanuts in it, but the restaurant has several other dishes that have peanuts in it. And, like an immature asshole, he decides he doesnt want to own up to his responsibility. April 9, 2012, 12:17 pm. Since there is no way to guarantee pregnancy wont occur aside from proof of sterility, this righteous DW anger would likely be aimed at any man who didnt end up wanting the child (no matter what precautions had been taken), likely by the same people whod turn red in the face about any story where a man was forcibly stopping someone from getting an abortion. just as she has the responsibility not to lie. A month after we broke up, she started a new guy. Not only to prevent babies but to protect yourself from STDs. This is why homosexual couples have to adopt. The argument is that Im on birth control. is not the same as I will not get pregnant from this sexual encounter. You know how babies are made. Women have two- before sex, and after they find out theyre pregnant. I almost lost the fingers on my right hand from it. I dont think anyones saying that. And yes, women do use the laws to trap men into financing their lifestyle of choice (as a single mother). If they dont want to be taken, then they should think before they poke. Or perhaps youre a world-wise know-it-all 19 year old who heard everything you regurgitate here from your Womens Studies professor bitter after falling for the same sure I love you baby slickster line you mentioned above. We do know that the guy in question didnt use a condom (as you yourself pinted out elsewhere, LW would have def. I cant imagine what my friend would have had to deal with if that was his child and he had to have dealt with her for 18 years. And WHY did he not practice safe sex since he only knew her 2 minutes? Life isnt fair. My hand felt like someone smacked a block of ice with a hammer. The manner to which they have become accustomed is a reference to alimony, not child support. 5) What bothers me more than anything is the LWs attitude. April 10, 2012, 8:54 pm. I told him I wanted nothing to do with him anymore. But if you are uninterested in a relationship with him because of his newfound drama then walk away sister. Again, this implies that a pregnancy must lead irrevocably to a child. Girls dropped the single "So Typically Now" way back in July of last year, it was clear Meg Remy's next outing would continue the wild ride kicked off when . Rarely, does a woman bring a man on the show to announce that hes pregnant and the responds with Id prefer you have an abortion.. . My Boyfriend Got Another Woman Pregnant & It Changed My Views On Parenthood. Just sayin. For anyone. Terrance Dean. Generally it turns into a bunch of bleeps. Outstanding dont have kids. He said while I was away he tried to get over me with someone else and now shes pregnant with his son. Furthermore, men should be held at least halfway responsible for the resulting pregnancy and child but should have no authority to decide upon his involvement, even though consensual sex involves both people equally. . So what? We . They like to entrap men, too. I could maybe understand if he was 19 and didnt know what to do. SweetsAndBeats April 9, 2012, 4:44 pm. I thought you were disputing the comments about it being not that contagious by disclosing that you were HIV positive. He did help create it. The plain truth is your boyfriend did not think about the consequences of unprotected sex (STDs anyone?) I would love, just ONCE on this site, for one of the male commenters to address shitty man behavior. Guys definitely think about their ex sexually. That makes her a scumbag, but it really doesnt absolve you of being the parent for that child. Ahtrue, I reread the letter, and it did say ask not order as I remembered. Were also stuck with either A) experiencing an abortion or B) going through a pregnancy. You deserve that label for attacking a woman that you dont even know, for trying to blame her for sperm-jacking your loser boyfriend and for suggesting that she is trying to trap him. Anyone would be angry in this situation. I think hes allowed to have an opinion about the woman after all, hes about to be handcuffed to her for the next 19 years or so. He hadnt. reader, Maaeexo+, writes (11 November 2010): A Unless youve been there, you dont know. My man (were not engaged anymore) begged to see his kids, and they met up and talked. And since placement errs to the mother, so does support for the exact reason you pointed out above, Addie: support is a gender-blind concept. April 9, 2012, 12:32 pm, Well to start theres this ridiculous bit of misogyny and what seems like lack of understanding of child support: one of them is the ability to, once pregnant, get support for 20+ years from someone they might have just met.. Yes, its true it is past the point. 2. I could understand that he would be shocked and unhappy, but who does that? and our We were apart for over five years when he announced he was becoming a father, and even though all that time had passed and despite my happiness with my new husband, it still conjured up a lot of . I can assume, at age 40, this man may not want to have children ever, but he knows how babies are made. But, now hes faced with the unwanted consequences of that choice, and while its unfortunate, its how life works. April 10, 2012, 5:46 pm. let us know if he had). Ive seen malarky thrown around quite a bit in this thread. Scolding him for indiscretion doesnt do anything its not his OR her fault that their personalities clash. Ok.you were on a breakhe met some women club and after 2 minutes decided to have sex with her (which people do Im not against a 1 night stand).but he doesnt throw a condom on because shes on the pill (so hes not protected from STDs and he has no verification shes actually using the pill responsibly)..and if that level of irresponsibility isnt enough, he ahem finishes the job inside of her! And the children are either damned or murdered. Ive done too many drugs and Id never write a letter like this XD. April 10, 2012, 5:01 pm. We started dateing again and have been for about 3 months and we have plans to save money and get an apartment. She says the girl says she got pregnant while on birth control, puh leaaaaaaaaaase. It sounds glib, and I mean, malarky? 4. Men and women have control over conception on the front end of the decision- and a woman is stuck with the pregnancy. ele4phant We decided to get back together as we cant bear life without each other. We are so in love with eachother and are with eachother all the time. Glad to see youve really listened to fellow commentators, reflection on their contributions carefully and made a meaningful contribution to the DW community. Im not saying it doesnt happen, but I find it hard to believe that people who dont take care dont get pregnant and every unwanted pregnancy is always the product of birth control failure. OH MY GOD!! Since you obviously cant formulate a cogent argument on the merit of these laws in response to my questions (as it doesnt interest you), I wonder why you keep going out of your way to engage this conversation. Youre right, what your life has become isnt fair- to anyone involved. And to the LW your boyfriend is not the victim in all of this. As much as men have some inherent advantages, women do as well, and one of them is the ability to, once pregnant, get support for 20+ years from someone they might have just met. Way to break a young girl's heart. personally i think this is a confusing, gray area that Im not sure I know the answer to. This is my question for you. As a woman, I have to take responsibility that any man I have sex with may very well walk away from me never to be heard from again leaving me with a child to raise alone. He is also probably telling all sorts of lies to keep the LW with him. At which point, no matter what form the chastisement comes, feminists are going to be looking for REAL men..and not finding them. It doesnt matter whether he wants to be with this woman or not, your boyfriend made half of this baby and has an obligation to be a father figure to it. Why should she abort the baby I mean come on. The research on on-again/off-again couplesthose that break up and get back together multiple timesindicates that some of the most common reasons for getting back together with an ex include . Its her body, there is a million reasons she might choose to have this child, even if she never so much as speaks to your prince again. I noticed you dutifully avoided addressing that. Its not that fucking hard. Its not JUST about your ex-boyfriend, LW. Man is in quotes becuase no man abandons a woman that he impregnates. April 9, 2012, 6:35 pm, Not highly infectious, huh? April 9, 2012, 12:31 pm. That means from a mental, obvious, and circumstantial standpoint, the girl is at the disadvantage. The last time I checked it took more than one person to make a baby. Going through the comments here, right on cue, I already record no less than five times that the boyfriend is called scum or scumbag. However, my father got primary physical placement, and my mother got 4 hours of visitation a week, and THAT is what dictated child support (or would have if she could have afforded to pay it). No, then I would say she is just stupid. This woman might very well be lying. At this point, its an easy thing to resolve this without decades of support and animosity. I dont know how Im going to feel about this baby malarky. Neither is that birth control is not infallible. Share your opinions and thoughts below! Whats your lawyers address? Doesnt interest me. It is time to take a hard honest look at yourself and why you really want to be in a relationship with a man that wants to be with someone else. April 9, 2012, 10:01 am. The risk of pregnancy if something goes wrong broken condom, etc. There is an obvious reason why we are all pretty damn sure he didnt use a condom For starters, itd have been the big leading point of the letter He so doesnt know how this happened! April 9, 2012, 10:48 am. . He wants nothing to do with her OR the baby? You know as well as I do that the law is gender biased in effect in not in letter. April 9, 2012, 8:29 pm. Typical female (notice I didnt use the word woman, because she isnt grown up enough to be one) wants to control every man and every bank account around her. Doesnt matter if they took every precaution to design the worlds best bottle. If someone ahead of you slams on their brakes because they want to read a billboard and you hit them, Id guess youd be not be upset, because its your fault and youre aware that cars ahead of you can stop at any point. She takes her pill every day at the same time. If the baby mama wants to keep the baby, its her decision. ha, Ive done too many drugs too. am . The court considers the psychological effects on the child before ordering support. I think this post must have been linked somewhere, hence all the men defenders, out to protect a mans right to have indiscriminate sex without consequences. Youre more than welcome. Come on! female You already have something that will tie you to her for minimum 18 years. But there is no ensuring that the child is cared for in an adoption. But instead, she rushed into a new relationship with some new guy, got pregnant, and appeared completely irresponsible. Thats nature, Tim. submandave Francine Your biological child. reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): A A guy does have every right to tell her look, Im not ready to do this. Women have complete reproductive autonomy, but as far as I know it is impossible to become impregnated without a man somewhere in the equation. Im not a woman hater happily married for 15 years, and I love my mother, my sister and even my mother-in-law. So your boyfriend said he doesnt want anything to do with his own child (besides the child support) and you didnt run screaming the other way? Absolutely BOIL. But you were split up for 2 months and cant bear to live without each other yet he didnt waste any time jumping into bed with someone he barely knows? Pay[ing] for it is responsible, even if its not what the mother of the child, or potentially the child, may initially want. all the time i thought so until 1 faithful day, i got pregnant. It could fail. Regardless of whether or not he wants to stay with this women he impregnanted, do NOT stay with him yourself! So the system is very one sided. Twitter Debates 16-Year Age Gap Between Jaylen Brown & Mouthwatering Meemaw Bernice Burgos, Barbie Gyal Nicki Minaj Returns From Hiatus And Sets Di Road Ablaze At Trinidad Carnival 2023, Rain Pon Meeee: Ashanti Reminds Everyone How Feathered And FINE She Was At Trinidad Carnival 2019, Chaka Khan Shows No Mercy Blasting Mary J. Blige, Mariah Carey & Other Names On Rolling Stone's 'Greatest Singers' List, Funniest (And Pettiest) Tweets From NBA All-Star Weekend 2023. If its dude and hes a brain surgeon or something and shes a hot part-time bartender, his child support will be assessed at an amount that will put her in decent rent, a mercedes car payment and plenty left over for nice clothes and dining out, with an occasional weekend getaway thrown in the mix. So, in other words, RR, it is a noble thing to give your child to strangers in the hope that he or she is treated well (that the adoptive parents wont abuse them, wont get divorced in a messy way, wont let them fend for themselves, and so on), even though youll have no interaction with that child again, but it is base and vile to have the same lack of interaction but to provide financial support which doesnt in any way affect the mothers ability to find a partner that is right for her. He can change his mind at any time and will likely get visitation at minimum. I think this man, regardless his quality of character in other situations, demonstrates good foresight in deciding that no, hes not ready to be a father. | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Essence.com Advertising Terms. Its not that bad (though Ill take an IUDs 0.6%, thanks). FYI first time posting but long time reader. Forcing him to stay with her isnt going to make anyone happy at all. Sorry. Sigh. Or maybe you feel like youre trapped between a rock and a hard place. My biological father, whom Ive never met, responsibly paid child support and didnt confuse me by dropping in and out of my life. April 9, 2012, 12:49 pm. Men are stupid and do stupid things, but so are women. .. but what if she did deceive him? The good news is that yours are a little less awful. Now, I highly doubt the LWs boyfriends baby mother to be is psychotic as my friends former hook up. You know, I dont have much patience this morning,. Where exactly do you live? A It takes two people to make a baby and two people to decide what to do after one of them gets pregnant. because, no one can give you a 100% guarantee that none of that will happen. The guy had sex (presumably) without a condom with a woman that (he at least believed) was on the pill. This letter is written by someone who wasnt even involved in the conception of the child, so I dont believe there can be an objective reading of the circumstances. As Ive gotten older shes told me more details about the situation (they were tenants in the same complex working towards professional education [law and med school] and both around age 30; I was a surprise and he was more dedicated to completing his education, while she wasnt upset that she would be a mother sooner. If he didnt want to make a baby, he should have been wearing condoms or not having sex at all. Youre the one asserting that its only one sex that experiences unfairness. female And hes 28. Besides, why would you want to be with a man who is with someone else? And for some reason people always seem to have the idea that it wont happen to them. Chris (played by Tyler James Williams), is the ambitious, normal, responsible, intelligent, and kind-hearted, but troubled, unlucky, unpopular, untalented, nonathletic, underachieving, hapless, awkward, nerdy, vulnerable and mischievous eldest child and protagonist with anxiety disorder of the series.He wishes he was more like his younger brother, Drew. Maam, hes made a choice. Thats not the point here. I love him so I'm willing to accept the baby. And I appreciate that he made his decision and stuck with it, instead of deciding to drop in and out whenever he felt like. Therefore, unless a man has sex only with the intent of becoming a father and only with the intent of never being with another woman, he is an asshole. I think I said that about my boyfriend was I was about 15. We learned that in middle school. Or until we decide to start a family.. If he didnt want to wear condomwhateverIll even give him the benefit there. April 10, 2012, 10:27 am, Okay Well, I dont believe the LW has a right to be mad at anyone, simply because her and her boyfriend were broken up when this happened. The vast majority of parents who have at least a rough acknowledgement of their paternity/maternity have joint custody even if the guys a deadbeat. I think we need to take a poll. Its just that all the other concepts that get us to the point of support arent gender blind yet. I just think that if he is saying he doesnt want a child then hes probably not fit to be a parent and the parent who does want a child is more fit. Since most of the people here seem to be pretty strong advocates of womens right to choose, to be treated equally, and so on and I agree with those stances it seems backwards, odd, and a double standard to say that men need to be financially responsible if the woman decides he should be and that they should have no say whatsoever in that. To clarify, I am NOT living with HIV. Paraphrased of course. I mean, for starters, if I even had one unplanned baby while on the pill, Id probably not continue to use it. He also lowkey blames me because I initiated the breakup. my boyfriend & i have been together for over 2 years (2y 5m to be exact) & i found out i was pregnant about a month ago & at the time i must've been maybe about 2-3 weeks pregnant. LW- your boyfriend is scum. You are too funny John. Therefore, why are you depressed? "My mom got pregnant from a one-night-stand at 16. Otherwise were looking at an extremely improbable event which the woman in question was able to predict with uncanny accuracy. John Rohan For the love of all things holy are you deliberately obtuse or truly lacking in basic comprehension? ago. Fury at the woman he impregnated is misdirected. And if this woman buys that line, shes a moron too. If you have any self respect, dump the sob. What exactly would your perfect laws look like in regard to custody and child support anyway? And I tend to agree that with certain situations, men end up with the raw end of the deal. You are an entitled, awful, C.U.N.T for even THINKING that you have an opinion on what this woman does with her pregnancy. Their choice, honey. That still has no impact on my main points. Even if this baby malarky goes away, even if this woman only demands financial support and nothing else from your boyfriend, this sort of drama will be your life if you stay with him. Youre fucking advocating that brilliantly fool-proof method?! People are calling the LW scum because hes willing to abandon a child he helped create. Dont engage in the action. I think your maturity should absolutely, completely be judged against how you react when life throws you unexpected thingslike an unplanned pregnancy. Wheww. Im a 29-year old mother of two children, and I was in a relationship for 4 years with a man (not the father of my kids), and he has a daughter from a previous relationship as well. Good times. That reasoning, btw, comes from Karen DeCrow, feminist attorney and former president of NOW. A scumbag? It is actually quite easy. I dont think the LW can handle a relationship where another woman has her mans child. BTW, believe it or not, I usually agree with the majority of the commenters here. April 10, 2012, 6:23 pm, P.S. Its ironic that some of the same people who fire off insults left and right on this forum, feel so offended when someone simply disagrees with them. Maybe the man in me is coming out today, but in a time where all you hear about is the War on Women and how dare any man tell a woman what they can and cannot do with their bodies that anyone on here can say this man doesnt have a right to do whatever he pleases with his body. These people are the REAL zombies.. landygirl Change the subject and attack is not debate and makes you look pathetic. My point is if you dont want kids there are always ways to prevent that he chose not to and now he can deal with the consequences. Move forward with your life. Besides, he made that choice a long time ago when you broke up the first time. We still cant quite manage partheogenesis or budding. Secondly, it is a medical procedure. April 9, 2012, 1:05 pm. Well, hey, point out the flaws in what I said, then. Nothing. Other times, breakups are not so obvious, and that can leave you questioning your decision. The 16 & Pregnant cast member slash Teen Mom 2 firebrand is many things, but she has never been lucky in love. While it is true he has no obligation to someone hes broken up with, he does have an obligation to not go around making babies with women he doesnt even know. Placement deals with where they are physically. Oh I definitely agree, a laid back scenario is no more absurd, it really depends on how people take what he is saying. Shortly afterward we learned that he got the other woman pregnant. I can agree with you that the decision about which medical proceedure she under goes after that point is totally hers., Is it any wonder that 40% of the kids born today are bastards?. Trying to force someone to get an abortion? Its only when a baby is involved is when men come to their senses and then have so much things to say like I didnt mean to hurt you, I barely knew her, or the famous line I was drunk. iseeshiny Males who have been RAPED still have to pay child support. She has decided to keep the baby and that is not his choice and CERTAINLY not yours. If that means not being with your boyfriend for the next 9 months to a year, then so be it (I dont think youll die without him). If he didnt want a child he should have better protected himself. Whats the matter? So, this man had sex with a women while he was unattached and not under any commitment, and that makes him scum? I dont think hes a bad guy for having sex with this other woman, and it was his decision to not use a condom. Women dont have to choose between the two both are within their purview. Where does the stork fit in? Sorry for any confusion! The kid isnt a rapist, the mother is.